journal

1 Dec

so big deal who cares, so what if you follow synchronicities, (and that is like first phase,

do that long enuff  then synchronicities turn into more personalized messaging, and that is

second phase,  do that long enough and the third phase  is….  well, how shall we say it?

(and it doesn’t take long to get to this-!)      I think it is close in communion with earth,  because

it is ‘for the world’ , and  ‘for the world’ is a valid phrase  and true  (was even hallmark of last

scorpio eclipse, all the astrology blogs said,  this one– what you do do.. know you do it ‘for the

world’   also….     What a healing thing!!

Maybe its all about being at this level  where you know …. it’s like…  you experience it a

couple times, maybe you even suffer for it….     “for the world” ,….  it’s like…  you live, you are alive, with your own life,…  but there is this other….   and it’s the height of your spiritual life, this ‘other’ (the world, the earth…)   seems finally to replace your former vision, whatever vision you carried about what the spiritual is like….    it begins to take form…    lately this phrase ‘new world’

… just a feeling …  but like a relationship  with that–  which is wonder,   (hope, joy…)

Follow synchronicities presented by planetary transits…. question from the heart during ‘gateway’ times….  eclipses,  fullmoon or newmoon lunations,   transits of planets on your natal chart…   these “synchronic

 

———————————————————————————————————————————————-12/01/12

I dont know, i watch and listen to a lot of astrologers,  i can’t believe it, it’s like they dont get  it,

they just dont get it, none of them do.  None of them talk spiritually,,  not one description of what it’s like to

be addressed by a God,   to develop relationship with planets,  i have contacted mars directly, saturn-

venus (oh yes)  uranus said hello to me,  pluto sat with me (wearing sunglasses, ha)  Jupiter…   neptune

 

not one talks about the breakdown of consciousness you go thru…. what it actually feels like…  it’s like they

don’t care, (some even admit they don’t,  they’re not ‘spiritual’….  !!???  – then what are they doing practicing

astrology?  baking french fries or something?

It must be because they have no larger context or vision to hold their observations,

now, earth philosophy could be such a context…  to step back away from astrology  , so you can see the forest

and trees…. then you will see something…  you will see the earth,   and how the cosmos …. loves-

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Video

the mother explains

27 Nov

the only way out

the wound

27 Nov

I’ve had an ear wax problem in left ear for about a week, keep hitting it with debrox which

seems to make it worse, well..     Its at point where it distorts sound now,   I walk into a shop

and there’s a lot of noise, people talking, but what I hear (in my left ear) are the words “I hurt”

and it’s that odd feminine voice again, very still, a bit like an echo chamber.

  It actually stunned me a bit, I felt it in my heart, because I really thought it must be something the earth was saying… and that of course is a moving thing to hear…

    However it was not the earth voice, it was mine.     Reading the astrology of the day,

(j.demboski)   it said  ‘the wound’  would necessarily need to be taken into account today as it

was the prime motivator …..

       it is the wound, and chiron,   — could it be possible to find some healing somehow (at least?)    suffering is amazing.  Just to feel well enough,  to begin to engage the spiritual life

even a little,  seems nearly impossible.  We undo ourselves most of the time it seems.  The search, the quest, is the one for peace , peace of mind, without it, how can we be part of the new world (whatever that is)  What is the ‘wound’ all about..

neptune /chiron eclipse on 28th

26 Nov

neptune, chiron  make T sqaure to eclipse,   supposedly significant

   this chiron…    you can access your own healing  now, a mystery of 2012…

   about 9am thru 10am  wednesday morning,   chiron wounds… neptune dreams..

(neptune famous for his mercy! )     a strange vibe on this eclipse, they say,  probably a

crash of some kind….  (but they seem to say also,  this coming month–  wonders beyond

your imagination!)    good or bad?    Luna,  mother moon….do not disappear for long …

     you- the most important planet in astrology   (my opinion)   do not disappear for long!  

gemini full moon nov 28th

26 Nov

well, everything in twos, I dunno, But its mercurys house
the only friend man will ever know up there, guide, messager-
yes, they say, something you’ll read… it’ll be something you read or like that…
the two or three hours moon is right before and on 2 degrees
gemini always fascinates me. 2 degrees gemini has got to be the most
spiritual degree on zodiac… (or it could just be me…) But is calle
the Santa Claus degree and ‘spiritual gifts’ and is true, ‘spritual gifting
if you can imagine that….
mercury so strange this retro period (3 weeks begining nov 6)
– in scorpio till Dec 12…. scorpio… mercury… so … what does that shadow know? – much indeed… The Eagle, the scorpion… intimations of health and healing (always the priority..)
Larry Hagman who played oil man Jr Ewing on Dallas died last
Friday, That day was ruled by pluto (scorpio = oil, this is well known)
The scorpion lives! Kills like nothing else, no hesitation…

astrology nov 25

26 Nov

sunday nov. 25 was a good day to just lie back with your eyes closed for about 5 hours

and just let the mind wander…. I’ll have to try this again… if the transits promote healing

(chiron), venus involved, good things, you might have the amazing experience of breakthru

merely in your reverie, a small memory perhaps, an image of sometime in the past, completely awakens a new perspective (as sometimes happens upon first awakening from

refreshing deep sleep- things become so clear then..)

I think you can do this just letting mind wander during special transits that promise

‘breakthru’s’ , namely transits with uranus involved.

I would give much to be able to remember a brief passing impression I did not hold

and only realized later what happened. I missed something that could’ve been very valuable

I’m sure.

I think the Dec 12, 21 solstice transit promises many such moments, would be good

probably to be as unconscious as possible , horizontal, (but not totally asleep

There are times for meditation that are keyed into the cosmos, just realizing this,

(I’m not a big meditator, a crazy Ram just always running about knocking things over..

I walk the labyrinth an awful lot however,  (and do it on eclipses and fullmoon/newmoon

lunations ) –  And usually pissed off, ha.   And demanding answer, demanding attention,

demanding healing…  Charlie Brown kicking football one more time….    then one day,

direct answers come… not just answers, but broadening out  and explanation of context,

… not just answers…  true prayer,  prayer that is heard… prayer that is true.. and real.

 

But the imagination,  the practice of imagination I think should be your own memories and images of your own life,  memories… are good…

I was trying to recapture a lost thought  during this  ‘mind wandering’   … I really wanted to remember   but I couldn’t,  I realized   my heart was longing to remember and

 

realized my heart , down there around my solar plexus  was connected to my head , where I was trying to remember so hard….      the heart and head connected…. in a very felt

way  so,   imagination….  heart imagination… the most crucial thing…

But the answers or   ‘progress’  or spiritual growth   found in head not heart..

heart the container of this imagining …  Mary the container– but not the imagination,

not the imaging,  The Imaging all  images  of my own reality ,  the most important rememberings…  were memories of actual things that existed and happened,  nothing

made up or created… only memories,   impressions and reflections evoked by them,

no mantra like thought,  my thoughts,    All very straightforward , I was not meditating I was resting,  and my thoughts streamed naturally,

– But there was something that happened,  some breakthru…    (it felt very large

— And then I saw Uranus (planet of breakthru)  was active that day

— and so  I think I will try this again  if I read uranus  active again… esp  if any spiritual or meditative aspect… (like neptune)

I think dec 21  will be very strong in this regard and may be  the best thing to be

doing  just lying in dark room with wash cloth over eyes  and just lie in bed all day  and just

let memory and thought move…   —

it is amazing that there are times that are for spiritual mediation and contemplation…

(any neptune transit day…

 

Always seek the healing …

 

later,

A

 

 

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26 Nov

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